February 24, 2010 – 6:00 am
I am the worst AA student. (But I am a good mechanics student! Okay, back to the topic….) I hear people in the meetings say, “I was lucky to have the gift of desperation.” Well, I guess I am unlucky with that. I am lucky in that I recognize that I cannot drink successfully, but [...]
February 8, 2010 – 6:00 am
I have been radically rethinking my radical rethinking and my brain is worn out. I am learning so much from you as I plan and process. It is impossible for me to imagine what this ’solitary’ journey would look like without you.
One thing I’ve realized is that I’ve woven in a lot of different things [...]
February 1, 2010 – 6:00 am
I am kind of freaking out about how much information I post on this blog, but I can’t really come up with a logical reason for why I should be.
At this point, it is not so much that I am afraid people are going to find out these things about me (okay, maybe there are [...]
January 29, 2010 – 6:00 am
I have spent a lot of time alone in this house over the last two and a half years. I have gone days without stepping outside, tearing through a stack of books on any new and random topic. I have played computer games, drank wine, shopped online, called my husband at the Gulf coast.
I have [...]
January 15, 2010 – 6:00 am
I am mega-dosing on AA meetings. Sometimes I go to two meetings a day.
I sit in the meeting and these other people talk about how they have lost the compulsion to drink. For some of them, that occurred soon after they started going to AA. That is not the case for me.
I am perplexed by [...]
January 12, 2010 – 6:00 am
As I’ve mentioned before, I am on meds. They are a miracle!
The type of medication I take is not really an anti-depressant, but is classified as a mood stabilizer. That means it is supposed to lessen the punch of your ups and downs, but it does not completely eradicate them. (It’s kind of like being [...]
January 8, 2010 – 6:00 am
I shared in the meeting last night. I had all these nice things that I was going to say. Instead I said a bunch of stuff that I didn’t expect. Actually, I said a bunch of stuff I didn’t even know I was thinking and/or feeling.
I called a lady in AA and talked to her [...]
January 6, 2010 – 6:00 am
If you’ve been reading for a while, you’ll remember that I used to have panic attacks about this blog. (I mean, really serious anxiety attacks where I almost deleted the whole thing in the middle of the night because I was freaking out.)
I was thinking about this because yesterday Joey (the only person who reads [...]
January 5, 2010 – 6:00 am
I went online to buy this brown turtleneck that was on sale for $25.90.
Then I decided that since I wear these almost everyday, I should order four.
Then I saw this Steve Madden jacket. Man, that would look great over a brown turtleneck.
50% off and marked down to $48.90.
Then I saw these boots. Wow, this is [...]
By Jennifer
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Posted in credit card debt, mental health, mishaps, mistakes, and misadventures, money, negative moods, simplifying, unspeakable things
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Also tagged embarrassing, Humbling, overwhelm, simplicity, unexpected, unspeakable things
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January 4, 2010 – 6:00 am
“You might have hair loss and weight gain.” The hippy-lady psychiatrist is laid back, unlike any I’d met with before, so I am trying to keep my typical suspicious hostility in check.
“Well, I have a lot of hair and am thin, so maybe that won’t be too bad.”
“The hair loss can be patchy and the [...]
December 22, 2009 – 6:00 am
Okay, seriously, no surprise, I am planning to buy something much smaller than the class A I test drove. I am going to write more about that later, but wanted to thank you all for sharing your experience and opinions last week.
I know some of you have expressed reluctance about sharing your opinions or concern [...]
December 11, 2009 – 6:00 am
I keep wanting to write about my not-drinking and my going to AA, but everything I write I throw away. It just comes out too weird and contorted.
So, I am just going to write a big messy post about it.
I’ve been going to meetings, but haven’t been sharing or introducing myself. They ask for people [...]
December 4, 2009 – 6:00 am
I can be pretty self absorbed, especially when I don’t feel well.
So, in a desperate attempt to knock myself out of my trying-to-not-drink agitation, I decided that I should take some recently given advice with regard to getting out of myself by giving back.
A few weeks ago, I ordered a book called 29 Gifts by [...]
December 3, 2009 – 6:00 am
They are really nice.
They laugh a lot.
I’ll write about it tomorrow.
December 2, 2009 – 6:00 am
Maybe there is a natural tendency to draw parallels between the disparate things we do in our lives, but, seriously, this blogging thing is so much like psychoanalysis.
I know there is something weirdly circular about talking about my blog in psychoanalysis and then writing about my psychoanalysis on my blog, but, well, it’s my blog, [...]
