I’m not sure if anyone is still checking my blog, but I decided that I wanted to bring it to a close with a final post.
Things have changed over the last few months that I’ve not been able to write about. Some I couldn’t write about because they were difficult and/or painful for me to process, but other big issues were kept off the blog because I needed to protect other people’s privacy.
The short version is that my new desire for connection and intimacy caused some problems when I returned home to my marriage with new expectations. We’d had a long relationship built upon mutual independence, so my changes (and desire for changes in our relationship) caused a lot of disruption. Ultimately, it was decided that he needed and wanted to continue on that path of autonomy and independence. This was extremely painful to me, as I wanted for him to ‘change’ with me, but I’m trying to remind myself that we each get to choose which path is right for us.
I also decided that I desperately do want to have children, and, at age 40, have little time to waste. I’ve decided to move toward that goal without a partner.
With regard to helping women transition out of sex work, I’ve enrolled in a graduate program in social work and was recently invited to be on a task force that is working to combat human trafficking. I feel like everything is falling into place and have a deep sense of ‘being on the right path’
So, that is where I am now. I hope it makes sense that I had to go quiet as I processed some of these changes. I am now divorced. I think we all get to learn to take the journey as it comes, and I am still getting lots of practice in learning how to do that.
I hope you all are doing well.
UPDATE: SEPTEMBER 2012
Thanks to all of you who have been checking up on me! I’ve received quite a few notes and inquiries, so wanted to provide an update.
Everything is going very well! I travelled solo to Africa last year, am now a single mother by choice to a sweet baby boy, am halfway through my graduate program (which I LOVE), am working with women who are trying to leave the sex industry, and reconciled with David. My life is super busy these days with school and single motherhood, but I love my busy, simple life a lot more than the leisurely materialistic life that I left behind.
Again, thanks for checking up on me! I don’t have the time to blog these days, but love hearing from you.