Thanks to all of you who are still checking in on me. I appreciate the notes and comments throughout my blog!
I’m not sure why I’ve taken a break. Some of you who’ve been reading for a while have pointed out to me that it is something I’ve done at least a couple of times.
It feels like a time of great transition, but in a good way. I realized that ‘working through’ the stripper stuff on my blog was a bit overwhelming for me. I ended up having a lot of nightmares, but paying attention to my dreams did help me to make sense of some of it. I was such a confused young girl in an extremely confusing environment. I ended up emotionally right back in that space of vulnerability, fear, rage, and extreme confusion.
I am still moving forward with a plan to do something to be helpful to women who want to leave sex work and adult entertainment, but feel humbled by my sense of inadequacy and ignorance with regard to what that would even look like. I’m trying to remember that ‘courage’ thing that often eludes me. Doing this very sincerely FEELS like the right path to follow right now. Even if I am walking forward into something that I don’t understand at all.
I’ll need teachers to help me, so that is where I am going to start. What I’ve learned so far is that I don’t have the skills to be helpful. (I tried and failed already.) Other people do, so hopefully I will be able to learn!
I’m probably going to start taking classes this fall.