I have been radically rethinking my radical rethinking and my brain is worn out. I am learning so much from you as I plan and process. It is impossible for me to imagine what this ’solitary’ journey would look like without you.
One thing I’ve realized is that I’ve woven in a lot of different things together and tried to call them one thing. I’ve got (at least) these three things going:
1) Wanting a simpler material existence
2) Wanting adventure
3) Wanting to run away
I had a strange dream last night. I was selling some of my really expensive designer clothes, and I had collected them in a bag that looked like my Meals on Wheels delivery bag. A woman was looking at them and I realized I had mistakenly included a favorite old denim skirt that I’d wanted to keep.
The dream included Alison from Alison travels (she was looking at the clothes I was selling) and a woman who had received electro-shock therapy for her shingles. I am obviously dreaming about this blog and solo women travelers, but can’t quite figure out what it all means.
This will be a good dream to discuss in analysis on Wednesday.
Your comments last week mean more to me than you can imagine. Thank you!
Take care,
Jennifer
4 Comments
Hello Jennifer!
From the sound of your dream you definitely have a very busy and active mind right now. This can be good and bad in your planning stages. It’s very good to plan, think ahead, and be prepared. It’s bad to over analyze, stress, and worry about the unknown.
Everyone has a different time frame in the “planning stages”. Some are in a position to just pack up and go while others have a lot to tie up before they head out on their adventure. You have acquired a number of assets along the way that need to be dealt with properly before you even attempt to hit the road. I admire that you are acknowledging this and focusing on selling your house and paying off your debt before you get any deeper into this than you already have.
You have several stressful situations going on at the same time which is causing a lot of pressure and anxiety in your life right now.
1. Selling a HOUSE had to be one of the number one stressful things to do! It’s darn right frustrating when you just want OUT!
2. Successfully completing your auto mechanics course. I am still so proud of you that you were brave enough to just jump into this blindly!
3. Finding the perfect RV. Ugh, this can take years! And of course the stress of selling the house so that you CAN get the perfect RV is another huge factor.
4. Paying off you debt. This is never fun and can take some time depending on the amount owed. And, once again, depending on the sale of the house to assist with paying off the debt!
5. You gave up drinking and are attending AA. This is an extremely difficult process when you are already experiencing stressful events in life!
6. You also want a simpler material existence. So you are still thinking about getting rid of STUFF. This can be painful. We are all attached to certain material things for different reasons. Trust me when I say this, you will feel so powerful when you are fully released from all STUFF. I have given away nearly EVERYTHING (except baby books, family pictures, and diplomas) to get into this lifestyle. You will not regret it!
7. You are wanting adventure. This is awesome but the “unknown” part of the adventure is going to give you major anxiety if you allow it to. Remember one of the greatest gifts of the RV lifestyle IS the unknown. If you obey your intuition it will never steer you in the wrong direction. I promise! Which is why it is SO important to be truly in tune with YOU, YOURSELF, your intuition BEFORE you hit the road. You must always be aware out here.
8. You want to “run away”. First off, know that there really is no such thing as running away. If it’s stress and problems you are running from they will only follow. But it’s perfectly normal to want to run away from people (family, friends, co-workers) in your life that seem to be dragging you down. Or running away from a specific area that maybe you have just been living in for too long. A change of scenery can make a world of a difference. And last but not least, you probably want to just “run away” from all of the stress of everything listed above right now. Understandable! But you have to give it time (I know easier said than done) and everything will fall into place. You must have patience!
Ugh, I can feel the tightness in my chest right now as I type this to you! No wonder why you are feeling stressed out. And that’s just the 8 things that randomly came to my mind. I know there are plenty more. Maybe you can think of more and add them to the list. Write them down and then when you are feeling the stress you have something to refer to. Perhaps this will help you better understand your feelings along this journey. Once you start to RV you will want to also keep a personal diary/log (besides this blog) for yourself. It will help you along your solo adventure to be able to read and re-read about all of the different places and feelings you have encountered.
I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times by now, but hang in there! You are doing everything you can to reach your goals. Just stay focused and everything that is a big blur right now will become crystal clear when the time is right.
If you ever need advice, someone to talk to, or just to vent you can always drop me an e-mail. I’m not saying I have all of the answers but I’ve certainly been through enough in life that I am confident I can hold your hand along the way and guide you in the right direction.
Have fun in the meantime. Remember to SMILE as often as possible. Find the little things in life that bring joy to you. I know that “sunshine” and “rainbow” encouragements seem pretty far fetched when you are swamped with worry and stress. But trust me when I say that everything will work out for you if you just give it time!!
Hi Jennifer,
Good to hear from you, hope you had a good weekend!
For me my main attraction to RV’ing I believe exists as a similar theme with your top three:
1) Wanting to spend the majority of my time doing things I would actually enjoy doing
Having more material things almost always requires more money, getting more money almost always requires more work, doing more work quite frequently equates to more responsibility, responsibilities often are fulfilled under pressure… not enjoyment (unless of course you are attracted to that perpetual race).
Following this flow, by shedding all unnecessary things; one would not have to sacrifice their time – it would be the “things” that get sacrificed. Don’t get me wrong here, things can be nice… but do we really need most of the crap so many of us litter our physical spaces with? To me, now (maybe a sign of getting old) time is far more valuable than things so I’m beginning to sway the scales to reflect that affirmed belief. Speaking of, I just canceled my late model full-featured monthly cell phone contract with AT&T for a bare bones TracFone!
Be careful and cautious when making any conscious decisions that would be based on the subconscious and the opinions of others based on that subconsciousness… though they occasionally do overlap, they are truly two different worlds.
Another thing I would be cautious of is your #3. Aside from agreeing with Angie, running away can cause many people to go of on a less than productive tangent in their lives (like I did when I set out to get my CDL to drive an 18 wheeler professionally). Be sure the changes you start making in your life will also be good for you and your growth and not just an attractive escape route.
Best,
A.S.
“One thing I’ve realized is that I’ve woven in a lot of different things together and tried to call them one thing. I’ve got (at least) these three things going:
1) Wanting a simpler material existence
2) Wanting adventure
3) Wanting to run away”
———————————
That list sounds like you are drilling down. But if you want a plan of action, you’ve got to turn the sequence on its head.
1. You want to run AWAY from something. Then you need to figure out exactly what it is that holds you back. What happens to a dog that runs away while still chained to a post? He runs in a narrowing circle, and ends up snugged to the post. Slip the chain.
As a first approximation, this means sell your house. But there may be a more to your anchor than that.
2. You want adventure. That usually means running TOWARD something. Some kind of Quest, involving obstacles and heroism. Otherwise you won’t know which way to run.
3. You want a “simpler material existence”. Aha! There it is! Not every Quest need be heroic. And they all end by coming home.
And suddenly you no longer need to run at all.
……………………………
If you accomplish 1, then 2, 3 follows.
Sounds like a syllogism, doesn’t it? Hmmm. I am naturally suspicious of syllogisms. They are so bossy.
Maybe it’s more like throwing the I Ching. You start out with a jumble of sticks, and end up with “ancient wisdom”. All by arranging things in threes.
Bob, wandering through the Metaphor Orchard, looking for low hanging fruit.
Jennifer, we just had the pleasure of meeting Kari, an adventure traveler from South Africa who is hanging out at Slab City where we are. I thought you might enjoy reading/dreaming about her travels.