I haven’t figured that out yet. I am completely worn out. (I am still sober.)
I recognize that there are no perfect solutions, but my brain sometimes won’t stop as I continually go in search of one.
As has been so kindly suggested, I need to stop writing about RV shopping and selection for a few days at least.
That should work out well because I am having a lot of crazy-brain flashbacks that I can write about. Ha ha. (Actually I removed some of my earlier ones, as I think the humor was lost on them.)
I read and re-read your comments while I am hiding in my bed. They don’t make me crazy. I love them. Sorry I am behind on replying.
See you Monday.
15 Comments
I always feel a little silly giving people advice since I’m still figuring out my own issues. So take this with a grain of salt. I may be totally full of crap.
I have had some fairly significant anxiety issues, for the most part in the past. I went the traditional psych route, gotten some meds, tried all that out. It helped alleviate symptoms, but it didn’t keep them from going away.
After a rather convoluted path, I tried meditation. Nothing fancy. I sat down and started counting my breaths. I’d try to focus on being in the moment, experiencing each breath in complete fullness. I was warned by experienced meditators about “monkey mind”, that it would be astonishingly hard to calm your mind and just focus on being in the moment. They were right. My mind wandered, I couldn’t make it to ten without thinking about something. But I did as I was told, recognized my mind was wandering, and brought it back to my breath and started over at “one.”
It became easier. It’s still hard, and I’m not an expert at all. But since I started a meditation practice, I notice a deep sense of calm, of being present and more aware of things I never noticed before. My anxiety issues, not gone, but pretty close. My happiness is through the roof. As I go through each day I just feel so, so very much better.
Maybe it will work for you, maybe it won’t. I can just say it has done wonders for me and it might be something worth looking into. There are lots of different “types” of meditation too…and lots of different books and sources out there. I’ve found probably the best beginner book is “Mindfulness In Plain English.” You can buy it pretty cheap, or if you google it you’ll find it for free online.
So…try it, or not. Whatever works for you. Just my two cents.
Remember – no stress! Turn that thinker off for the weekend and ENJOY yourself!
Have a beautiful day Jennifer!
Angie
I have had to come up with solutions to the whole “can’t stop my brain, need to sleep” issue. Also, my problems seem so much bigger in the middle of the night. So, now I always have something by my bedside to read. Nothing too interesting, or I would just read all night instead of sleep. “Bird Watcher’s Digest” used to do it for me. Don’t get me wrong, it is a lovely magazine, really. It’s just that reading it didn’t interfere with helping me to fall asleep. A crossword puzzle is always there, too. I put the rest of the world away when I work on a crossword puzzle. And, now, I keep the ipod on my bed stand because I can play solitaire and that mindless activity helps my brain to stop spinning, too. I hope you find something that works for you. I know the feeling of exhaustion from night time brain spin. Take care.
Sleep princess, until the frog come, kisses you and wakes you up.
You are getting stronger everday!
You can do it!
Love
James
Agree with Japhe. Breathe. Try some relaxation recordings, they really do help. G’nite.
Congrats on your continued sobriety Jennifer. That is huge!
Make this RV thing fun, not stressful. Everyone has their own ideas about what is right because it works for them. Don’t be a pleaser to any of us who are so willing to give you advice.
For everyone who hates trailers, there are just as many who love them. Same for A’s and C’s…..you will know what is right for you.
Jennifer, you probably need to give up the idea of replying to every single comment you get. There’s too many. It will wear you out. Save your energy for the blog.
My advice, which is worth what you just paid for it, is to read or reply to comments when it is fun or useful to you to do so, and not otherwise.
That’s exactly what we are doing.
The blog is your show. It won’t happen without you. But the comment section is like a crowd milling about in front of the theater after the show. Some of us may be crazed fans calling out your name. Others may be simply smoking a cigar.
Anyone can show up. Anyone can leave. There is no invitation list. You can try to make one after the fact, but that’s a pointless task. We are standing in the street, fer gawd’s sake.
Bob
Bob cracks me up! I love your analogies Bob as they are spot on.
Jenn, everyone is right – very good advice, I’d say. You have a very caring and supportive group of readers and that says a lot.
You are doing great with your sobriety and I think I speak for everyone when I say we are proud of you. Keep it up.
And Barb said it first, but I was going to suggest the same thing about reading or a crossword. My Dad always said “The problem with an intelligent mind is you tend to overthing everything.” And I believe it – just relax – it will all come to fruition, you will see.
Have a nice weekend – I am off to enjoy the FOOT of snow we are getting! WEEEEHAW!
Jennifer –
It *is* your blog and you can do as you wish but don’t delete previous posts – humor was not lost. I love your humor!
Everyone has given great advice and I’m not perfect but here’s what works for me. For a long while Sudoku worked for me. Something where I could still think but it was pushed into the back of my brain but I focused on what was in front of me. Listening to music – I’ve got weird tastes and my friends tease me about it so I’ll jam when I’m home alone. During stressful times I tend to ‘forget’ to listen to music to help me. Certain games like Tetris or Shape Shifter help me as well. During the summers, I’ll drive to the lake and just listen to the water. The sloshing against the rocks soothes me.
Hope you find something that works for you…even if it’s only for a short time.
Be kind to yourself. Kari
K.I.S.S. keep it simple silly, stressed spelled backwards is desserts, my wife has lots of the same issues, and it just one day at a time, we spend anywhere from 4-6 months in our RV balance in wonderful sunny & warm AZ. Also for the RV avoid ANY RV that is a FLEETWOOD product, lots of big issues with repairs also lots of RV’s are out of production, see who will cover your repairs, there will always be repairs. Hang in there and good luck and see you down the road hopefully. Dave
As I was reading your older blog posts about the Class A I was mentioning to my husband how I thought you were a little crazy for wanting to buy a Class A. He told me it wasn’t my place and that you’d figure it out. But now that I read this post I have to speak my mind!
(sorry)
I mean, they’re big – really big and when they break down it’s a pain the ass and expensive to fix – have you priced those tires yet?!?
There are SOOOO many different types of RVs and because it’s just you in the rig, I think you’d do better in a smaller rig (like a B, B+ or small Class C).
Traveling can WEAR YOU DOWN and traveling in a HUGE RV wears you down even quicker. Our starter went out at a gas station in whoknowswhere, GA. The tomtom said the local advance auto parts was 50 miles away. The guy who worked inside didn’t speak English and could not tell me the name of the city we were in. He just kept repeating “I don’t know. I no live here. Pay for gas!”
We were blocking incoming traffic to the gas station and it was Friday and the sun was setting. After a 20 minutes of arguing with the attendant, he let me borrow his yellowpages – but he wouldn’t let go of the book, I think he thought I was going to steal it!
If it weren’t for a very nice (and very old) individual who chose to work late on a Friday night and personally drive a very long way to get the new starter to me, we would have been there all weekend long – blocking traffic. We couldn’t push or be pulled out of the way because of the angle we were at. We had a place to sleep, IF the gas station worker didn’t call the cops. The first starters threads stripped out so we had to call him back out and he came with a new one (it wasn’t our fault, manufacturers)!
Now that I have a smaller rig, I know I can call AAA to tow my ass out of there in a second. Or I can find a nice person to pull me out of the way while I fix it myself. Which we have had to do – we have the WORST luck EVAR.
I feel weird about telling you what to do – it’s just my opinion – but I don’t want you to be beat down by a big rig! I want this to be an amazing fulfilling trip for you
Good luck with whatever rig you choose, and know that we’ll be here for you to answer any questions you have! See you on the road 
Thanks so much to all of you. I think I just wore myself out when I realized I was going to trash my entire big rig RV plan and head back to the drawing board! But my head is clearing and I am feeling very *grateful* for the disruption. I always appreciate anyone taking the time to share their experience and provide guidance.
Your brain-calming suggestions are very helpful.
I also especially love it when you guys share your own crazy brain stuff with me!
Thanks!
Jennifer
Hi. No real advice for a quiet mind, but I have been following your blog for a while and just wanted to let you know that I wish you all the best on your venture. A few years back I had a type of breakdown, and sold all my possessions, moved to the coast and bought a sailboat to live in. I am now flirting with a new plan similar to yours but less destination specific…. If I can only get my business to be more self sufficient. Anyways, I just want to say that it really was comforting when I found your site and realized that other people dream of doing the same things that I do. I hope everything works out for you.
Thanks.
Hallot
Things that work for me: I agree with Japhy on Guided Meditations – here’s a link to a good (free) one at Quiet Mind Cafe online:
http://www.quietmindcafe.com/quiet-mind.html You can also find CDs at a metaphysical bookstore. I recommend healing meditations by Louise Hay. The ‘guided’ means that you start the soundtrack and your mind can focus on the voice, which helps a lot. Also agree on DEEP breathing – you can do it anywhere/anytime. Focusing on the deepness of your breaths gives your mind ‘a place to go’. Try it now … take reallllly deep cleansing breaths and and use a simple affirmation to yourself while you’re doing them, such as, “Breathe in Love (on the Inhale), Release Fear (on the Exhale). Reallllllly deep breaths for 20 rounds or so.
I used to lead guided meditations for Conscious Living Circles and here’s a Fave: put on some Yanni (or whatever instrumental music is SOOTHING to you) … Start by sitting in an upright but relaxed position … take one deep cleansing breath and start breathing very gently. Inhale. Exhale. Now close your eyes and focus on relaxing each set of muscles in your body (first your neck, then shoulders, arms, hands, moving all the way down to your toes). Now imagine (visualize) your spine extending downward like a tail, down, down through the chair/sofa, through the floor and ground, deep into the earth and curling around the very center of the core of the earth (this is to ground you).
Once you feel yourself securely grounded (eyes still closed), now imagine the sun shining brightly down upon your head. Luxuriate in the warmth and comfort of the sun on your hair and head. Now realize this is really the Light of God being sent especially to you. Allow yourself to receive it. Feel how it feels to be bathed in the Light. Now visualize the top of your head opening up to allow the Light to permeate your entire being. Feel the healing love and calming energy being given to you all the way through your body.
Now close the top of your head and shift your focus to a time/place memory where you experienced total peace and calm. Maybe it’s a place near a peaceful stream in a forest, or at a quiet beach at sunset, but it should be a real place that you’ve been in. Picture yourself there, taking the time to notice all the sweet details of the sounds, fragrances and textures. Remind yourself that you can come to this place anytime you want.
Now move through a scenario where you walk down a path (or along the beach or whatever) and now you come upon the sight of God in a great big chair (whatever visual idea of God works for you: a Light Being, an ancient Native American woman or Chief, the classic Old Man in the chair, whatever works for YOU). You’re invited to climb into his/her lap and you allow yourself to be lovingly (non sexually!!!) embraced. Allow yourself to feel the Love, Comfort, Acceptance and Strength that is just for you. Feel how cherished you are Jennifer.
Now you’re invited to ask a question, or confess one of your deepest fears, or lay down one of your burdens. You know you are safe and loved here, so you do. Take your time with this. Now allow yourself to hear the responses and encouragement for you.
After the response, You are reminded that you are so special and that you’re completely accepted and loved. You are supported in this Universe Jennifer. You are loved and all is well with you. You can come to this place any time and it is here for you.
Now it’s time to end this meditation … feel yourself slowly coming back to the present in your body. Feel how relaxed and energized (in a calm way) you feel. Remember you can come here anytime and open your eyes. (Meditation ended). Alternate ending: go to sleep
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Nature also works wonders for me (gotta get OUTSIDE the RV!). Rivers, beaches, and old trees calm me and feed my soul. I enjoy watching birds now too. So does the pond in my backyard and the gardenias, roses, and everything in my garden. Gardening is very healing to the soul, though it’s not exactly consistent with full-time RVing LOL. Yoga can be done anywhere (without the heavy exercise equipment!) and there are many great DVDS.
OK, didn’t mean to write a book here. Hope something offered here is good for you.
I Found that I had to deal with the issues that were making the mind whirl once I couldn’t turn it off chemically.
Meditation and all that is great, but if you’ve got the dark stuff going on that you don’t want to deal with, it isn’t going to go away.
Deal with it. In whatever way works for you. Some people use the 12 steps, some seek therapy, some get religion, some can journal it out. Whatever works for you.
Just remember that you can lie and bullshit other people about the truth of whatever may be in there, but even when you try your best, you can’t lie to yourself. You always know. If it couldn’t be avoided with heavy doses of long-term alcohol infusion, any other method of just “making it go away” is going to be tough.
Like I said, it’s what worked for me and some others, but your mileage may vary, and I could also just be full of shit