I have been blogging about my travels and plans for travels, finances and plans for finances, et cetera, all without seemingly appropriate references to how/where/when/what my husband and partner is going to do.
David, my much beloved husband, is a teacher, writer, business expert, and novelist. He is also somewhat of a recluse. So, my husband and I don’t live together (or even in the same city). David lives about 175 miles away from me, in his house and favorite spot in the world, at the Gulf Coast. I live in my house, in my favorite spot in the world, in Austin, Texas.
Over the course of our relationship, we’ve lived together three times. The first time was for about 3 days, the second time was just over 3 months, and the third time was almost 3 years. After three attempts, we’ve discovered that living in separate houses works best for us.
We know this wouldn’t appeal to everyone, but for the introverted and independent types, it is a pretty nice deal. We drive back and forth and visit each other at our respective homes. As an example, this weekend I drove down to David’s house, where he took me out for a seafood dinner and nighttime walk along the Gulf Coast. We had a wonderfully romantic evening. He listened to me talk about all of my travel fantasies and I got an overview of his most recent business brainstorms and successes.
After a leisurely morning of coffee in bed, I headed back to Austin. It was nice. : )
David is coming to visit me at my house this Thursday. I can’t wait!
7 Comments
I am glad I am not the only person in a marriage where we don’t live together! I thought I was odd; but i feel better seeing your relationship is also like this.
Plus, I live in my Class A Seabreeze RV. I don’t mind driving it by myself.
Oh, I am so glad to read this! Have you blogged about it? I didn’t see it….
I’m not blogging about the RVing yet. Still settling my life. But I tweet and make Facebook updates on the lifestyle frequently. Hippygeek on twitter and jill florio on facebook.
Sorry to comment on such a old post, but wow I don’t think I could do that! Me and Duncan pretty much spend 24/7/365 with each other and have done so for many years (even before our marriage). Shit, don’t you miss him? Do you have an “open” relationship? Different strokes for different folks! Thanks for sharing, I was wondering, actually.
Dear Jessica,
We are both recluses, really.
We talk every single day and see each other every week, but (and I guess it’s weird?), we both love to spend a ton of time alone.
This may sound really lame, but after 14-15 years, the living apart makes it seriously feel like dating to me (as in the excitement/fun/enthusiasm part). So, no, not an open marriage. (But you are the second person who has asked me that lately, so obviously I’ve lost touch on how unusual this is…)
Jennifer
I was just catching up with your blog and went “What?! She has a husband?!”, so I was glad for this explanatory post.
I never thought I could be married because I’m too much of a recluse, but you’ve opened my eyes to other possibilities.
That picture is great; you both look so in love.
Jennifer, I love this idea! Good for you two for thinking out of the box.
In every relationship I’ve ever had, there is inevitably something about the person that rubs me the wrong way after a while. Maybe they snore. Maybe they’re a slob (although that’s never bugged me, lol.) Maybe he’s the most wonderful man in the world, but he can’t stop chatting endlessly and you’re a writer and need peace.
More relationships could be saved if people were creative like you. Just wanted to applaud you. And I like your blog.
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